Rita Rudner Quotes

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

Why should women have to fit into child sizes in order to be considered desirable? That is both sick and depressing.

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'

When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.

Sadly, in any industry and in any work-related environment, females always strive to achieve a certain amount of perfection, whether that be skinny or pretty. It's a constant, in our society.

I find it funny that people now come up to me and say, 'Wow, you are absolutely gorgeous. I'm like, 'I was beautiful before I lost weight. Egotistically speaking, I thought I was amazing.'

From a male perspective, you don't think about how much outward pressure and importance you put on how women look.

If you ask men about their body image, they will tell you they look better than they do. And if you ask a woman, she'll tell you she looks worse.

Women feel like we're fat if we can't wear the clothes we wore in high school. Men, in contrast, only start to feel fat only when they can no longer fit into a foreign car.

I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show several times, and I can tell you that girl is genuine and funny with a great self-deprecating sense of humor.

Fashion really is women's liberation in a lot of ways. Look at how many women in this country are depressed about how they look and how they think they have to look! It's really sad. And it's not about money.

For a while, I was only being sent fat-girl parts. Seriously? Sometimes I feel like I'm making some kind of radical statement because I'm a size 6.

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.

A naked woman in heels is a beautiful thing. A naked man in shoes looks like a fool.

The funny thing is, I look at these magazines that make me so insecure and neurotic, but I'm in them!

It's funny, but I never knew I was hot or could be beautiful until I saw 'Basic Instinct,' and I was so shocked when I saw how pretty they made me.

It is true that women tend to be more identified with their bodies because in this crazy world, both men and women measure women's value as human beings in relationship to their physical appearance.

When we get married or interviewed for a job or play professional sports or run for president of the United States, we encounter a whole set of standards and expectations. We can be shamed for an outfit that's too slutty, too dowdy, too pricey--take your pick. That's the burden women carry into the fitting room.

A real man doesn't know what cellulite is. Until I was 30 I thought cellulite was a building material used for restoring plasterwork in stately homes.

When you're a woman, you have such a strange relationship with your body because - especially when you're in the public eye - you're constantly being judged.

For women, style codes are not merely about being smart or presentable, they are a platform for judgment.

I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about.

The surgeons are playing on the myth's double standard for the function of the body. A man's thigh is for walking, but a woman's is for walking and looking "beautiful." If women can walk but believe our limbs look wrong, we feel that our bodies cannot do what they are meant to do; we feel as genuinely deformed and disabled as the unwilling Victorian hypochondriac felt ill.

Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.

When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them.