Peter De Vries Quotes

My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

At any age, we struggle with intimacy. When you're a kid, you think, 'I won't have that problem. I'll have sex whenever I want when I'm a grown-up!' And then, somehow, it doesn't quite turn out that way, and it's so surprising to people that connection remains so challenging even when you're married.

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

I've been married most of my life. And when you're married, you don't have sex.

I'm no expert, Rock, but I don't think I have any poontang...to give you.

I love to wear lingerie. The problem is that men always rip it off too quickly. When women are dolled up in lingerie they feel sexy. So let us wear it for five minutes.

Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body's cells have been replaced, you're meant to experience that seven-year itch.

Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.

Damn it! When you get married you kind of expect you're going to get a little sex.

I feel that flip-flops are the downfall of many relationships. It's, like, first it's the flip-flops, and then it's the sweatpants...it's the gateway drug to no sex.

I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.

I've given guys blow jobs just because I've run out of things to talk about.' Oh, Rae. Who hasn't

I was once involved in a same-sex marriage. There was the same sex over and over and over.

My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.

Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.

I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid?

About how much sex I didn’t get? Go ahead.

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"

Sex is logically impossible after marriage. You have to overcome the paradox of Not this again, and Hey, where did you learn that?

A man and a woman are new to one another throughout a life-time, in the rhythm of marriage that matches the rhythm of the year. Sex is the balance of male and female in the universe, the attraction, the repulsion, the transit of neutrality, the new attraction, the repulsion, always different, always new.

You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked!

I don't really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have. Even when I was a virgin and wanted to marry the first guy who I slept with, I never passed any judgments about that. But now I'm done [with dating around].

Get married before the sex gets boring or you'll never get married.