Nikki Glaser Quotes

I've been doing stand-up since '89.

I spent 25 years as a stand-up comedian.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

I always tell comics you got to hang with your stand-up.

I wasn't one of those kids who stole Richard Pryor records. I wasn't a comedy-nerd kid. I had no concept of stand-up. Actually, the only inkling of stand-up I had was I read one of Paul Reiser's books when I was, like, 12. I found it at a yard sale, and I carried it around with me for six years.

I started working full time as a comedian in 2005, shortly after we did the Vince Vaughn 'Wild West Comedy Show.' I worked at the Four Seasons hotel from 1998 to 2005, so about seven years, just trying to put some food on the table and pay the rent while I went out to the open mics and got my feet wet with stand-up comedy.

From very early on, I had always wanted to be a stand-up comedian. It was my passion; it was my goal. It was a world I was simply infatuated with. So, as soon as I could, I moved out to L.A. chasing after my dream.

I remember being captivated by Steve Coogan and Eddie Izzard and wanting to do what they did. That generation of comedians was my main influence.

I'm not a comedian. I didn't study sketch comedy; my background isn't that.

When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.

I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.

Nothing is set up like a comedy bit. I did sitcoms for 10 years. Literally from 1989 to 1999. That's almost all I did. Whenever I got away from television I was like, "Phew, thank God that's over. I am never going back."

In the U.K. I'm probably better known as a comedy writer - or certainly that's my background is in writing comedy.

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.

I love comedy. If I could be a comedian - well, I probably would not take that job because it seems really hard, but I wish I could be.

I've not really been angling to be a comedian. I knew comics and I loved them and I loved being funny, but I didn't understand the whole concept of becoming one. My first couple of times on stage, I was like, "This is what I'm doing for sure." I was so excited.

I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were born into. And so I wanted to be a veterinarian or an architect. I wanted to be in a band, and for some reason I could understand how you could be in a band because I had guitars and all my friends played music. Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.

If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.

I've always loved comedy and growing up it was the comedies that I really responded to. So I don't know how it turned out that once I started acting that I started getting a certain kind of role, that I never saw myself as growing up, so I really love when I get an opportunity to play a [comedian] role.

Now people are coming up to meet me at my shows and they're doing my bits! One guy earlier was at 7-11 and he comes up to me and goes "you want a falcon?".

I didn't really get into comedy until a couple months before I started doing comedy.

There are tons of things I'd love to do. I want to do comedy. It's not that I don't want to play a superhero, but I got to play Conan and Drogo.

I first wanted to be a comedian when I was six or seven and my dad showed me Laurel and Hardy's "Perfect Day" on tv.

I'm not a natural comedian, as an artist. I studied comedy growing up. I would watch Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence, all day.

I'm a standup comedian who gets to act. I'm never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I'm doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.