Comedy Routines Quotes

People who I've worked with are always like, 'Why aren't you doing comedy? You're funny!' because they've only seen the one side. I did do the comedy 'Whatever Works,' with Woody Allen and Larry David.

I have a lot of respect for actors who do comedy. They do it naturally.

When I started performing, there was no Internet; I didn't really have anything to copy. I kind of had to just make up what I thought burlesque was, based on photographs of Sally Rand or whatever.

I'm not a comedian. I didn't study sketch comedy; my background isn't that.

I always think of comedy as being spontaneous, and yet everything about filmmaking is not spontaneous.

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

I'm a standup comedian who gets to act. I'm never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I'm doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.

I've been doing comedy for 20 years now. I started when I was 13 and I think for the first 10 years I was impersonating other people.

Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh?

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

If my career path takes me elsewhere, that's great. But comedy is my forte.

From the age of 14, I remember thinking I wanted to be a comedian. But that was like saying I wanted to be an astronaut. It felt like a million miles away, something I could never do, but would be great to.

I'm not the kind of comic who would try stuff on Twitter, because I have to work up ideas and I can only do that in front of people.

I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were born into. And so I wanted to be a veterinarian or an architect. I wanted to be in a band, and for some reason I could understand how you could be in a band because I had guitars and all my friends played music. Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.

I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.

Shows are my saving grace. In between actual jobs, the only thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that I can go up on stages.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.

People who do comedy really are the nastiest people on the planet.

Even on TV appearances or big shows, I don't know if I've ever been as nervous as I was my first time doing stand-up. I just remember getting offstage and sitting down, and my right knee was just shaking from the adrenaline.

Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.

It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.

Comedians really are like a species. That's not to be exclusive. Anyone can kind of become one. You have to pay your dues, though.

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put all the music away and become a real comedian.' But then I realized there are amazing musical comedians out there, that musical comedy is probably something I'll always want to pursue.

I've always been a fan of comedy. I've always enjoyed it. It's something I'm very passionate about; it's like lifeblood to me. I had to pursue it. I thought I had a little bit of talent, and if I could make a living at it, I would do it. It's worked out so far.