George Burns Quotes

In my planet, fashion, I'm the only straight man.

For a straight man, I seem to have to kiss an awful lot of men!

This is America, and we don't restrict our battles over people's sex lives to 11 months a year

I'm an elderly Jewish lesbian trapped in a 33 year old nerd's body.

One does every day and without a second thought, what at another time would be the event of a year, perhaps of a life.

When, in the present world, men behave well, that is no doubt sometimes because they are creatures of habit as well as, sometimes, because they are reasonable.

It simply works. You do it twice a year. Who cares? And it balances my smoking and drinking.

There was nothing abnormal about it when homosexuality was the norm.

To hear two American men congratulating each other on being heterosexual is one of the most chilling experiences - and unique to the United States. You don't hear two Italians sitting around complimenting each other because they actually like to go to bed with women. The American is hysterical about his manhood.

No matter which sex I went to bed with, I never smoked on the street

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.

We shall have to stop looking askance on trends in relation to sex merely as a reproductive capability, i.e. that it is normal to make babies. Society will have to change in its assessment of what the proclivities of humanity may be. Our viewpoints on homosexuality, for example, may have to be reconsidered and more wisely adjusted.

I don't think of those things [from farting, to male on male affection, to crossdressing] as being taboo, I suppose, so it didn't strike me as, "Oh, I'm breaking boundaries and stuff..."

Once you're heterosexual and comfortable with that, you don't need to take out an announcement every day.

I'm certainly not going to tell other people what they should do with their own personal lives. I think it's certainly easier for a director to be out. The public is not going to see a movie because the director is gay or straight. It's maybe a little harder for an actor or actress because of, you know, the love roles and stuff. But gay people have been impersonating heteros in the movies for years. So, hopefully, that is becoming less of an issue. I think it would have been really great if a gay person had played a gay person. That's brave!

If you do something often enough, a ratio will appear

Do you know anybody under 25 that gives a damn whether you marry a man if you're a man or if you marry a woman if you're a woman? No.

In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality.

If I was a woman in Russia, I would be a lesbian, as the men are very ugly. There are a few handsome ones, like Naomi Campbell's boyfriend, but there you see the most beautiful women and the most horrible men.

...the routine of life goes on, whatever happens, we do the same things, go through the little performance of eating, sleeping, washing. No crisis can break through the crust of habit.

Such figures as Boy George do not disturb me nearly so much as do those relentlessly hetero (sexual?) keepers of the keys and seals, those who know what the world needs in the way of order and who are ready and willing to supply that order.

I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago, back in the stone age.

I had made this mistake once before, on a school trip to the Victoria and Albert Museum, when I followed a sign marked WOMEN, thinking it was an exhibition on the changing roles of women in society, and actually ended up standing in the ladies' toilets.

I was once involved in a same-sex marriage. There was the same sex over and over and over.

Man becomes a slave to his constantly repeated acts. What he at first chooses, at last compels.