George Carlin Quotes

... gross, barefaced inconsistency.

Although volume upon volume is written to prove slavery a very good thing, we never hear of the man who wishes to take the good of it, by being a slave himself.

We were proclaiming ourselves political hypocrites before the world by thus fostering human slavery and proclaiming ourselves, at the same time, the sole friends of human freedom.

The people heard it, and approved the doctrine, and immediately practiced the contrary.

From the U.S. Capitol Building to the White House, our national symbols that represent freedom to so many of us, were built by people who were anything but free.

Why is Slavery so much condemn'd and strove against in one Case, and so highly applauded and held so necessary and so sacred in another?

The White man is a paradox. On the one hand, he professes almost fanatic commitment to high ideals; on the other, he disdains those same ideals in practice.

Slavery is now nowhere more patiently endured, than in countries once inhabited by the zealots of liberty.

The thing to remember about the Declaration of Independence and the profession of freedom is that it was written by people who were quite free and who were surrounded by people who were not free. The people who wrote the Declaration of Independence were ventriloquists really. The obsession with freedom makes no sense when it applies to them.

But, slavery is good for some people! ! ! As a good thing, slavery is strikingly peculiar, in this, that it is the only good thing which no man ever seeks the good of, for himself.

The Fourth of July-memorable in the history of our nation as the great day of independence to its countrymen-had no claim upon our sympathies. They made a flag and threw it to the heavens and bid it float forever; but every star in it was against us.

So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you'd really notice it of course; just kinda on paper. And that of course was at the end of the Civil War. Now there is another phrase I dearly love. That is a true oxymoron if I've ever heard one: "Civil War." Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? "Say, pardon me?" (shoots gun) "I'm awfully sorry. Awfully sorry."

I have always believed, heretofore, in the doctrines of the Declaration of Independence, that all men are born free and equal; but of late it appears that some men are born slaves, and I regret that they are not black, so all the world might know them.

Inconsistency is the only thing in which men are consistent.

What good to me is the festive garment of freedom when I am in a slave's smock at home?

Yeah, right. I mean, he criticises everybody in the media, then the first thing he does when he finishes is he goes to work for the media. Thompson, too. Hypocritical.

It's very strange that you condemn me as a terrorist at the same time as you call on me to help you combat terrorism in Iraq and elsewhere. It doesn't make sense!

I have seen great intolerance shown in support of tolerance.

I have sometimes been ready to think that the passion for liberty cannot be equally strong in the breasts of those who have been accustomed to deprive their fellow creature of theirs.

The politician is an acrobat. He keeps his balance by saying the opposite of what he does.

[Criticizing the American colonists:] How is it that we hear the loudest yelps for liberty among the drivers of negroes?

Democratic liberty exists solely because we have slaves ... freedom is not possible without slavery

Men condemne the same things in others, which they approve in themselves; on the other side, they publickly commend what they privately condemne;

Where bastard Freedom waves The fustian flag in mockery over slaves

It is much to be wished that slavery may be abolished. The honor of the States, as well as justice and humanity, in my opinion, loudly call upon them to emancipate these unhappy people. To contend for our own liberty, and to deny that blessing to others, involves an inconsistency not to be excused.