Phyllis Diller Quotes

The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill.

People don't ever seem to realize that doing what's right is no guarantee against misfortune.

Unfortunately, my departure from Madrid was not pleasant, but those things are in the past, and I have learned a lot and matured.

I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.

I used to refer to myself as Typhoid Mary. It wasn't that I was jinxed, I just seemed to bring ill fortune to anybody I was close to.

You're out of luck like two dogs stuck.

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport.

Once upon a time they had some bad luck, and they blame everything on that.

As ill-luck would have it.

My stars shine darkly over me

Misfortune is never invited. And it comes and sits at the table without permission and it eats, leaving nothing but bones.

You touch some of the reasons for my going, not for my staying away.

The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.

Love itself draws on a woman nearly all the bad luck in the world

Good bye, proud world! I'm going home; Thou art not my friend, and I'm not thine

It will generally be found that men who are constantly lamenting their ill luck are only reaping the consequences of their own neglect, mismanagement, and improvidence, or want of application.

Never look at other people's bad fortune,' my mother said. 'If you do, it will come back to find you instead of its rightful owner.

All misfortune is but a stepping stone to fortune.

I have bad car juju." -Stephanie Plum

Good luck tended to avoid me.

I always seemed to be in the right place at the wrong time.

Bad luck is usually transmitted by close proximity to habitual sufferers.