Stephen Colbert Quotes

Being Jewish is a big part of my artistic sensibility and my humor... I think it gives me a certain take on the world on a literary level.

I know a lot about Jewish comedians.

Though I'm not religious in the classical sense I did partake in Passover.

I'm a Larry David fan, right? And it seems to me that Jewish history from the Talmud on has been a self-deprecating, self-critical kind of humor.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.

When you have a Jewish mother who has a very strong Jewish family, it's very ethnic in its practices. Eating brisket, the food and the family and the interconnectedness for better or worse.

There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

Jews have a tendency to become comedians.

There's something innately funny and warm about being Jewish. I think it's something to be embraced and respected.

One of the great things about us Jews is that we tell the best jokes. Part of the reason is we tell jokes against ourselves - before anyone else gets to do it.

I like dark humor. I think the world is very funny and tragic, and my photographs are basically dark Jewish humor.

The Jews are always up for a laugh.

Can't resist Haribos.

If you had to say in one sentence what being Jewish means, it is being able to make fun of yourself Jewishly.

When people, especially from France, would ask me to talk about or so they could write about New York Jewish humor, I'd say I don't know anything about New York Jewish humor. I know who Zero Mostel was and I know Mel Brooks, but that's about all I could tell you about New York Jewish humor.

Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.

I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.

I played football.. my football was kosher.. no pigskin.

I'm very proud of being Jewish. It means I have a good work ethic, and you get Jewish humour and you're allowed to tell Jewish jokes.

This wine should be eaten, it is too good to be drunk.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.