Ally Carter Quotes

That was the most awkward Wednesday he ever remembered.

Whenever I was with Kevin Pollak, I had to leave the room.

I'm kind of a nerd. A square. And I'm terrible at telling jokes. I always forget the punch line.

I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.

One time I laughed so hard, I just had to go and change my pantyhose. I lost it. Lost it. At least it wasn't onstage.

I was a pretty nerdy kid. I was pretty nerdy. I'm still kind of nerdy. I have all of the worst qualities of being a nerd - all of the affect and none of the smarts. I'm a useless nerd! That's pretty bad.

My first kiss was when I was 13. I was so nervous that I was shaking. Unfortunately, the girl I kissed never spoke to me again.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

Bill Mitchell said he really liked it. But when he asked the other four their opinions, we all took one look at ourselves in our raggedy long winter coats and cracked up. We knew we weren't likely to tempt anyone or anything, but what the hell, it was as good a name as any.

Awkwardness is such a gold mine for comedy.

I'm more one of those people you laugh at and not with. I'm not the one with the jokes, I'm the one who falls on her face going up a flight of steps.

Sean Spicer gives press briefings like someone is going through his browser history while he watches.

In ballet class, I felt like Ralph Wiggum.

Apart from the occasional bit of dad dancing, I really can't dance.

Awkwardness is the consciousness of a false position.

I am such a sillybilly that I embarrass myself all the time.

People who know me know that I am very clumsy, always fumbling, and I talk rubbish most of the times.

I'd never dance at school discos, I couldn't believe people could show themselves like that.

Me and Noel went to HBO once and pitched this really ludicrous idea about us driving around in a haunted car, and they just stared at us. Literally stared at us! It was awful. Luckily, we were together, so we could laugh about it, but if we were on our own, it would have been one of the worst moments ever.

My friends make me laugh: funny Instagram videos, but mostly people falling over. It's so bad, but it never gets old. I just love how people cover up their falls. The whole experience of 'Oh, I just fell, and I'm going to run out of the fall and pretend I did this on purpose.' I just like to see how people cover up their mishaps.

You never want your dad to introduce you to a girl.

I never even was in any of my high school plays. I mean, look at me. What role could they give me - the tooth fairy?

I like to think of myself as the corniest, most awful thing you could possibly imagine.

Apparently I had a boner in the acceptance video

Ooh, big day in town for our park warden,” I said. “They’re even making you wear the uniform. Hayley’s mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it.” Dad turned as red as his hair. Mom’s laugh floated out from her studio. “Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone.