Demetri Martin Quotes

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

Better a tooth out than always aching.

I'm not the one to always follow professional protocol - but I do know what it is, even at 24 years old.

Eccentric behavior is not routinely noticed around a movie set.

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing.

Eccentricities and irregularities are to be expected from him. They are in his character, they are visible in his eyes.

You know those people in life who are a bit eccentric and larger than life or a bit odd? That their realm of possibility around them is larger than somebody who's called normal? What's normal for an oddball? They could start screaming in public. That's fun to play.

I have this Waterpik that shoots water between your teeth. It's great. You do that along with flossing, and you know for a fact you've cleaned your mouth as much as humanly possible. It's like going to the dentist every night in your bathroom. I don't know if it's a floss replacement, but in conjunction with flossing, it's great.

Who doesn't want to come and put fangs on, and a funny mad costume, and pretend to be like a really over-the-top bloodsucking monster for a couple of days? It's like dress-up.

Because I've got veneers, I am always checking to make sure I haven't got food in my teeth.

I have one funny story - because we knew we don't have fangs. But I remember I told Billy (Tangradi) "Dude, where's your fangs?", and he was flipping out because then he would have to run back to the hair and make-up trailer, they would be like "You don't have fangs." and then he'd run back and I'm like, "Dude, where's your fangs," It was great. A little easy.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.

In the world of minor lunacy the behaviour of both the utterly rational and the totally insane seems equally odd.

People look at me like I'm a little strange, when I go around talking to squirrels and rabbits and stuff. That's ok. That's just ok.

I don't think people know what hygienist means.

I remember preparing for my audition on the plane to L.A. — I was drawing all these weird vampire pictures and I am sure the gorgeous ladynext to me thought I was very odd.

Dentistry is more impressive in town-what the rural man calls cleaning the teeth is called "prophylaxis" in New York.

There are always some lunatics about. It would be a dull world without them.

Which is weird. But not the craziest thing I can think of Rose doing.ʺ I appreciated the support.

The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.

I am Dracula, and I bid you welcome . . .

Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where's your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak... Am I scary, or what?

Zombies are the new vampires.

Vampires don't live at all," she points out, "neither do we." She has me there. "Fine, I'll go. But when Kurt leads his minions in a march around the cemetary with our heads on sticks, don't say I didn't warn you.