Daniel Handler Quotes

I was a superlate bloomer, and I was kind of a prude. I always wanted to be able to keep the number of people I've had sex with very low, because I never wanted to have to tell my future wife, "Oh, yeah, I was with 30 people."

I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.

Yeah, I guess everyone's had a reasonable amount of sex in their lives, some less than others.

In English, we don't have a word for people who aren't virgins. What the non-virgin lexical gap really made me think was that our obsession with sexual purity is such that once you are no longer this THING, you are indescribable.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

Keep your virginity for as long as you can, until it starts to feel weird to you. Then just get it over with.

If I wasn't a footballer, I would be a virgin

The fact is that young people are going to have sex whether you like it or not.

It's fine to have anal sex as long as you're not in high school.

People generally have sex fairly young, and probably younger than they should be having it.

It broke their virginity.

Being a virgin doesn't mean you can't have a good time.

I've never even been to bed with a man. Never. That's how pure I am; I have nothing to be ashamed of. My gods made me the way I am.

I wish I were a virgin again. The only fun I ever had was holding out.

I'm one, too," he said. "What?" He spit a wad of blood and mucus into the dirt. "A virgin." What a shock. "What makes you think I'm a virgin?" I asked. "You wouldn't have hit me if you weren't.

When you're 19, a threesome is normal. It's fun.

Promiscuity turns sex into a sport, like arm-wrestling.

In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can have sex just to have sex; you can have sex with friends; you can have sex with people you love; you can have sex with people you don't like, but the sex is good. And you can joke about sex much more.

Generally speaking, I'm much more in favour of penises entering vaginas than axes entering skulls. But the world seems to accept the violence a lot easier than the sex.

for a man of 55 who didn't get laid until he was 23 and not very often until he was 50 I think that I should stay listed via Pacific Telephone until I get as much as the average man has had

Sex got me into trouble from the age of fifteen: I'm hoping that by the time I'm seventy I'll straighten it out.

Someone told me you start liking sex when you hit 30--but we'll see.

When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.

If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married.

It was like there was some parallel universe we all vanished off to where we had all this sex.