Conan O'Brien Quotes

Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.

When I first joined the Secret Service in 1983, I was right out of college, having spent the last two or three years of my college experience working as a police officer for the city of Orlando, Florida.

I never really had the time for a proper bachelorette party.

I joined the Secret Service in June 1999 as a special agent and vividly remember an agency brimming with pride.

Truly, what the Secret Service did for us is that they saved my dad's life twice.

Nothing says the party is over more than when you run out of ice.

I threw a big-ass party. It turned out a bit different from Perry's [in That's Ordinary World], but it was pretty nuts. It wasn't me that threw it though, my wife threw me a surprise party. So [unlike Selma Blair's character] she didn't forget.

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

As you might imagine, if you're a teenager having a couple of people with microphones and guns always following you around, that could grate on them. But you know, they've handled it with grace and I give Michelle [Obama] most of the credit for how well they've done, but I also just think they are graceful, good young, young women.

I have complete confidence in Secret Service. These guys and gals are unbelievably professional. They know what they’re doing and I basically do what they tell me to do. Now, sometimes I’m the first one to admit that it chafes a little bit being inside this bubble. It’s the hardest adjustment of being president, not being able to just take a walk.

I don't give parties, and I'm not in that social scene. I couldn't care less.

Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.

One can never have too large a party.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.

There was a table laid with jellies and trifles, with a party hat beside each place, and a birthday cake with seven candles on it in the center of the table. The cake had a book drawn on it, in icing. My mother, who had organized the party, told me that the lady at the bakery said that they had never put a book on a birthday cake before, and that mostly for boys it was footballs or spaceships. I was their first book.

A party like this isn't about the surprise factor. It's about someone going to so much trouble that it just... overwhelms you.

When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.

I like to know what I'm celebrating before I put on a party hat.

Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing.' 'Well,' he says, 'I would only go if there was cake.

The invitation to Miss Myra St. Claire's bobbing party spent the morning in his coat pocket, where it had an intense physical affair with a dusty piece of peanut brittle.

I have a small child. Being a parent takes a lot of time. People always ask me, "What movies have you watched lately?" I tell them, "Finding 'Nemo' ... 'Shrek'.

As far as being in dangerous situations around the world is concerned, I always have a Secret Service detail with me as one of the privileges of a former President.

Most of all I hope the tournament [The 2017 Africa Cup of Nations] will help unite our people [in Gabon]. My wish is to celebrate a big party all together.

The prime minister of Ireland will be celebrating St. Patrick's Day at the White House. So finally the Secret Service agents will have a drinking buddy.

New Year's Eve always terrifies me.