Molly Ivins Quotes

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

I still believe the Lewinsky investigation was way off from the focus of what Whitewater was, which turned out to be nothing at the end of the process. And I think that there were people who were determined as political opponents to not allow his presidency to succeed.

I don’t know what he was so angry about. He won…. If I had won, he would have been much better off. He would have been spared getting disgraced by Watergate.

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Bill Clinton smoked Marijuana but he didn't inhale, he spent time with a woman but he didn't sleep with her, he received a draft notice but didn't read it. Why give him the White House; he won't use it.

Bill Clinton fascinates me because, at the time, it seemed like his shenanigans and the people after him were the biggest political stories you could ever imagine. I remember when the 'Starr Report' was published in the newspaper, all of us were reading it in the high-school cafeteria, and a dean started taking the newspapers away from us.

Hillary Clinton cannot be the president of the United States.

Make no mistake: you're going to see a lot of Bushes.

Everybody has a little bit of Watergate in him.

I really found this campaign odious. I couldn't get up for it. The quality of the candidates and the campaign, I just found the whole thing second-rate. I didn't know how to explain to my granddaughter that I was spending my dotage writing about Al Gore and George W. Bush.

There are people on staff who have made that point, that the upside to a second Bush term is that it makes 'American Dad' work better. To me, the price is too high. I would gladly give up the comedy to have a President Kerry. But you work with what you have.

The best thing going for us is Al Gore. I cannot conceive how the American people could elect him. On the other hand, I couldn't conceive how they could elect a Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton - especially Clinton in '96.

There were no dead bodies in Watergate.

Let's be very clear, if you check the F.E.C. records you will see I am supporting George W. Bush.

I am not a crook.

The worst mistake Ronald Reagan ever made was to accept George W. Bush as his running mate.

We have before us in the White House … a criminal—known to be armed and dangerous.

Bill Clinton is the most corrupt, the most amoral, the most despicable person I've ever seen in the presidency.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman–Miss Lewinsky.

You roll back the stones and you find the slithering things of the world of Richard Nixon.

The Watergate burglary was both illegal and stupid

I think it would be much better for the country and for Clinton personally to resign. I come from the business side. If you had a chairman or president in the business world facing these allegations, he'd be gone.

Reveal Richard Nixon … lay him and his motives bare … destroy him in his shot for the Presidency.

The Clintons are walking around on poo. But it’s very clean poo.

Thank you, Mr. President, for hosting us and giving me the chance to be with so many people I haven’t voted for.