Brian Celio Quotes

I reckon I am a smart aleck, but it is just a way to pass the time.

I don't think I would describe my sense of humor. Doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd do.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

I have a good mind but I don't like to bore anyone with it.

I don't think I'm funny.

I do sarcasm really poorly.

But I've never looked at myself as being particularly funny.

I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl.

I'm not witty.

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.

I don't fancy myself as a very sarcastic person in real life.

Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit.

I think great humor lies in playing the truth of a situation.

I think it has something to do with being British. We don't take ourselves as seriously as some other countries do. I think a lot of people take themselves far too seriously; I find that a very tedious attitude.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

Sometimes my influences are really on my sleeve. So I just make sure to wear a lot of sleeves.

I never thought I was funny.

If I cannot brag of knowing something, then I brag of not knowing it; at any rate, brag.

Ah, yes! I wrote the "Purple Cow" - I'm sorry, now, I wrote it! But I can tell you anyhow, I'll kill you if you quote it!

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

Everyone plagiarizes me. Ever since I wrote my autobiography.

Me myself, Brian, I'm a Midwesterner at heart, and I have this deep, bone-dry sense of humor, and I've found it worked to combine this Barbie with a dry, sarcastic man.