Demetri Martin Quotes

Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket."

Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you.

Comedy is inherently subversive because it turns the normal reality on its head. The art form is all about these questions and contradictions. In comedy, we're dealing with language that we all understand, but words can have a dozen other things around them that alter or affect meaning.

Jerry Seinfeld is amazing in many ways, not the least of them his ability to find humor, and convincing us to find it, too, in the million-and-two details about modern life that under different circumstances might send us into paroxysms of rage.

For one thing, I don't pun excessively in real life.

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

People like light and silly, and they like stuff that's really energetic, and you get a character in a film bouncing around and screaming, people laugh. That's all it takes. I don't find that funny. To me, what's funny is dialogue and nuance of character and performance.

My dad's sense of humor was direct and sometimes surreal - his quick wit is well known amongst our family and friends. He raised me on Spike Jones records and W.C. Fields movies, and his sense of humor fell somewhere in between.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.

People don't get my sense of humour.

Americans don't like puns and plays on words, which is totally opposite in the comedy world to France or even Italy and Germany.

I find something funny when it lives on many levels - a level of self-deprecation, of knowledge and heightened reality.

I'm not funny ha-ha, but I look for real humour in just about everything I've ever played.

There are thousands of ways to make people laugh - satire, black comedy, slapstick.

Rob and I both have this strange sense of comedy which always involves us being the butt of our own jokes.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

I've never read an article of clothing.

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.

Humour is the describing the ludicrous as it is in itself; wit is the exposing it, by comparing or contrasting it with something else. Humour is, as it were, the growth of nature and accident; wit is the product of art and fancy.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

Comedy aims at representing men as worse, Tragedy as better than in actual life.

The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.