Bill Maher Quotes

I always believe a woman should have 5 non-negotiables that she should stick to when attracting a mate. If the guy does not have these five major things - then she should not give the guy a chance as she's wasting her time. The rest is up to the magic and wiggle room the universe gives.

Guys are so easygoing and girls are a little harder to please, but that's okay.

Through all the relationship stuff I've gone through in the past few years, I know there are fundamental differences in how men and women view sex and how they view their futures.

Boys always like to see girls kiss. I don't get it; girls don't want to see boys kiss.

I love women in all their different incarnations. My friends are practically all women. They are much more intelligent than men.

Women are more likely to have sex and fall in love, which can be tough because that's not the way men work.

When I don't have a girlfriend, who I am answerable to, I can go out and hang with people. But whether you go for a movie with someone or a meal or a drive, it is assumed that you are dating that person.

We teenage girls are faced with a quandary: we know what we want but are forced to wait for our male counterparts to grow up. We are ready for intense and meaningful relationships, but research indicates that males will not reach maturity until their mid-20s.

I don't believe for a minute that women really want to be understood by men.

The difference between men and women seems to be this: I can argue with my promoter downstairs, accuse him of ripping me off, and 20 minutes later we'll be playing golf together. With a lady, the same argument can go on for, like, years.

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

This idea that we should be best friends with our partner of the opposite gender leads toward tremendous frustration. Did you ever notice that while men often refer to their wives as best friends, women usually refer to another woman in that way?

Marriage is not super-important to me - most end in divorce. I love the idea of being with someone forever, but I don't think it happens very often.

I'm the kind of guy who'll go to a courthouse and get married, but for women, it's different. It means a lot to them.

When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like, "Trust me, you don't want to have to actually interact with these people."

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

People should be _very_ careful when choosing the future fathers and mothers of their children. For that reason alone, it is extremely mean to demand a marriage certificate for life, just for one night of embracement.

I don't think men try to make women be like them, but I think women try to make men be like them, a lot.

I never found anybody I wanted to spend my life with. People say, "Didn't you want to get married?" Well, sure, but it's not abstract, there has to be someone you want to marry. I'm pretty traditional. Marriage would have to come first, before kids.

Man's love is of man's life a thing apart;Girls aren't like that.

Women are programmed to love completely, and men are programmed to spread it around. We are fools to think it's any different.

Some women pick men to marry--and others pick them to pieces.

Commitment is different in males and females. In females it is a desire to get married and raise a family. In males it means not picking up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Men want success and sex. Women want everything.