Don Zimmer Quotes

We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.

I'm quite obviously not the world's most handsome man - I'm the second world's most handsome man!

People say, 'Since you got rich and famous, you've become insufferable.' I say, 'That's not true. I've always been insufferable.'

I've only got one wrinkle, and I'm sitting on it.

Not everyone can be as successful a performer as myself, who gave 10 great performances the first time I ever did comedy, and then toiled in obscurity for years.

I have not taken my good looks seriously from the beginning. When I would be teased by my friends about my looks, I would just make a self-deprecating remark and let it pass.

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.

It's not about ego. Really. If it was ego, I'd be telling you about my awesome... oh, never mind.

Well I think they broke the mould when they made me and being humble is one of my great assets.

Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.

I'm all about being self-deprecating because I think it's hilarious. Any actor who takes themselves seriously just needs to stop being such a piece of s**t.

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

I'm always making a comeback but nobody ever tells me where I've been.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

Even though I am fantastic looking, I am still quite intelligent.

You can't be vain as an actor. In 'Ab Fab,' we were made up as old women with bald wigs and jowly necks, and we looked fantastic.

What, like I want to look like Dick Clark? No. I think I look great with liver spots.

I'm a reasonably good actor, and I'm an average naval officer. Ha, ha!

If I had to describe myself to an alien I'd say I was bigger than the average human, enjoy a drink or two with a good meal and have a bigger head than most. I'd also say I'm really handsome - especially if they were a female alien.

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

I am funny. No one else thinks I am funny. But I am funny.

I don't think I would be an actor if I was that intelligent.