Joan Rivers Quotes

Every New Year comes with a list of predictions. Self-predictions, world predictions, how many times Lindsay Lohan will get arrested predictions, etc. I reserve the annual trend for people with genuine psychic ability and/or bloggers.

I don't read or watch anything that has to do with Lindsay Lohan.

My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what is going on with celebrities. So I have to know everything.

I think there ought to be some serious discussion by smart people, really smart people, about whether or not proliferation of things like The Smoking Gun and TMZ and YouTube and the whole celebrity culture is healthy.

If the powers that be really knew how much time I spent thinking about and researching celebrities, they probably wouldn't let me anywhere near the red carpet. But, please promise not to tell them. I'm harmless, I swear.

You know it has to do with Kelley and drugs, and me... and there's like, what is it? I didn't read it. That's my thing. That's what I do, I don't read things if I don't think they're going to be good. I don't even look at the pictures.

I just don't like when there's a rumor that says I'm dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, 'Thank you for the big ups!'

I'm the antidote to Lindsay Lohan. I know she misbehaves terribly, but sometimes it just seems like it's open season on her.

I need you to read more and drink less.

The only way I hear gossip is if it's big enough and loud enough for my friends to bring it up to me. Or if it's, like, a big untrue ordeal from my publicist - and she hates making that phone call!

I keep track of my kids sometimes with social media. I have to check TMZ every morning to see what's going on, and then at night, I go to bed with Snapchat.

Yo, people are saying Tyga had the biggest comeback. Tyga? Tyga! Lime in the coconut Tyga? Yo, get out of here.

If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you really can't bear to talk about her on the weekends.

When Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up, I was dying to see something that said they were getting back together.

I have absolutely no interest in the tabloids or reporting of the royal family.

My father would read me Page Six instead of, like, kids' stories.

If you pay close attention, you'll notice we continually hear about basically the same 150 celebrities.

Awards season is big for me - I love following all the films and who might be nominated.

Entertainment news doesn't interest me.

I did not give Angie a French kiss. It was something simple and lovely. She was about to go off to Mexico to finish filming 'Original Sin' with Antonio Banderas. I congratulated her on the Oscar win and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. It was snapped and became a big thing.

I have been reporting on celebrity stuff my whole career and am very aware that fame is a slippery slope.

I was not so interested in night-after-night coverage of Michael Jackson's death or Britney Spears' latest breakdown - topics that were 'breaking news' at the time.

I was one of the first to use the online medium as a way to talk about celebrity news in as close to real time as possible.

I'm definitely curious. I love pop culture. I'm glued to it. I can watch garbage TV, but then I can also watch great theater.

Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip.