Jim Gaffigan Quotes

The 4th of July combines the two things Americans love most in one day: alcohol and explosives.

Fourth of July. My birthday is July first, and my best friend's birthday is July fifth, so it's always been a favorite holiday. It's all about having a cooler full of sodas, hot dogs, and just hanging out and shooting off firecrackers, being low-key, watching the fireworks.

No other date on the calendar more potently symbolizes all that our nation stands for than the Fourth of July.

If you look at tailgating, everyone does it. It's for everyone who likes to cook outdoors. It could be a 4th of July picnic.

The Second Day of July 1776 will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America.... It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shows, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires, and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.

The Fourth of July should be celebrated with big hearts.

We all know you can't have a Fourth of July barbecue without the fixings that go with it.

Soldiers of the American Revolution fought that 18th century war with heavy muskets. In the early 20th century, we kids fought it every Fourth of July not only with exploding powder and shimmering flares, but with all of our senses.

I always have the most fun on the Fourth of July. You don't have to exchange any gifts. You just go to the beach and watch fireworks. It's always fun.

At noon, on the Fourth of July, 1826, while the Liberty Bell was again sounding its old message to the people of Philadelphia, the soul of Thomas Jefferson passed on; and a few hours later John Adams entered into rest, with the name of his old friend upon his lips.

My early childhood memories center around this typical American country store and life in a small American town, including 4th of July celebrations marked by fireworks and patriotic music played from a pavilion bandstand.

There are lots of emotions that go with the Fourth of July.

May it be long before the people of the United States shall cease to take a deep and pervading interest in the Fourth of July, as the birthday of our national life, or the event which then occurred shall be subordinated to any other of our national history.

I would like to acquire a document autographed by John Witherspoon, who signed the Declaration of Independence and is one of my American heroes.

The United States is the only country with a known birthday. All the rest began, they know not when, and grew into power, they know not how. If there had been no Independence Day, England and America combined would not be so great as each actually is. There is no "Republican," no "Democrat," on the Fourth of July—all are Americans.

Why do we not celebrate the 4th of July? The Declaration of Independence is just as precious to me today as it was twenty years ago! Has it not the same validity that it had in 1776?

I grew up in New York City, and I've got wonderful memories of the Fourth of July fireworks.

I was born about 80 years too late. If you were a kid in 1910, the Fourth of July was a big deal. You knew all about the Revolution, and you still had Civil War veterans.

The Fourth of July observes one of the most seismic shifts in human history.

When we celebrate American independence, we are celebrating the best sense of an idea, a process in process.

[Independence Day] was a sweet, sweet job, because it was one of those big surprises.

The date will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.

People don't even recognize who the Founding Fathers of the United States were. They were exceptional human beings - when you signed the Declaration of Independence, that was a death warrant they signed their name to. You have to have courage to put your name on a death warrant against the most powerful nation in the world at that time. And yet, we didn't honor who they really were. They were deists. They lived an enlightened belief system.