Charles M. Schulz Quotes

I'm a meathead, man. You've got smart people, and you've got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb.

I wasn't born a fool. It took work to get this way.

Stupidity is not my strong suit.

Ma sex game is stupid, my head is the dumbest, I promise, I should be hooked on phonics.

Don't go see the movies, I'm a troll. I think the movie was great, but their biggest mistake was me.

I've always wanted the IQ of a rock. No, wait. That would be an insult to the rock.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Emile Zola was a poor student at his school at Aix. We are all so different largely because we all have different combinations of intelligences. If we recognize this, I think we will have at least a better chance of dealing appropriately with many problems that we face in the world.

Everyone thinks I must have been an ace in school. But I didn't work hard, I was lazy. I liked to be lazy. I thought laziness stimulated your imagination.

I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.

I'm a bit retarded, like most Americans.

Zombieland reference," Jon said, nodding. "How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference!" I looked at laura. "I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago." "Uh...Betsy..." "Don't say it." You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.

I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.

I used to drum on the table at school. I think a handful of my school reports say that they thought I might have some kind of ADD.

My education was interrupted only by my schooling.

Moi?” He put his hand over his heart and did his best wounded-innocent look. “You must be thinking of some other uncouth jackass. Which makes me jealous, by the way.

When I want to be reminded of stupidity, especially my own, I turn on the TV.

I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

I am terribly shy, but of course no one believes me. Come to think of it, neither would I.

I don't think I would be a good politician. I kid about it when I get a standing ovation. Sometimes I'll say, "I may run for Governor," but it's strictly a joke.

I think it's very funny that someone would exaggerate to make himself look worse.

I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am.

A dimwit thinks nothing is funny unless it's mean.

I don't think of myself as a singer; I usually end up singing when I can't find anyone better to sing, or when I'm too lazy to find someone better.