Jonathan Winters Quotes

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

It's okay," he informs me. "Your grandfather is teaching me how to play poker." If I know Grandad, that means what he'll really be teaching Sam is how to cheat.

That's right, kid. Never play an ace if a two will do.

I mean maybe I was holding all the aces, but what was the game?

My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

I'm not a big poker guy, I like to play shnarps.

I have quite a good card sense. My grandmother taught me to play bridge, so I had a reasonable sense of the cards and how they work.

To the untrained eye, poker seems deceptively easy.

Chess is a great training ground for poker players because it's a math-based game, much like backgammon is.

I am terrible at cards.

I like to get in a battle I can win.

Poker is not a team sport. It's every man for himself. It's perfectly okay to root for your buddies and hope they do well, but when it's time to play the game, you have to give it your all. All by yourself, that is.

I'm not that good at cards.

I've always said I have very good timing. It is underestimated when you are outside the ring but once you get inside the ring with me, I'm a step ahead.

I always know how to play this game. It's about being smart.

I don't make many mental mistakes. Yeah, I'm smarter than I look.

When my reading ability is sharp, I can dodge bullets, baby! I have no problem folding super-strong hands and that saves me a ton of chips.

I find, at times, people underestimate me. That's really an asset.

I don't know how to play Canasta.

My dad was a big card player.

But give me more credit than that. Someone else may have dealt the hand, but I picked it up off the table, I played every card, and I had my reasons.

Advantage is a better soldier than rashness.

I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!

May the flop be with you.

I may be a despicable person, but when Truth speaks through me I am invincible.