Will Rogers Quotes

What a holler would ensue if people had to pay the minister as much to marry them as they have to pay a lawyer to get them a divorce.

I cannot afford to, as my curates cost too much. If a curate proves unsatisfactory I can get rid of him. A wife is a fixture.

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

I'm a modern girl, but you should put your husband first. I like to think divorce is not an option.

You know why divorces are so expensive? They're worth it.

Marriage can be expensive, and if I lose millions then it'll be the best millions I've spent.

I don't think anyone gets married thinking that they will get divorced.

… the notion that gay marriage is harmful to marriage, is sort of mind-boggling, because these are people trying to get married. But it seems to me, if you want to defend marriage against something, defend it against divorce.

I'm very lucky, I had a very amicable separation and very amicable divorce, but it was still horrendous.

I wish I'd heard about quickie divorce packs from Tesco's sooner.

Divorce is the cheapest thing in Pakistan. About 30 cents. Cheaper than fish and chips. I've had clients married to very rich men for 40 years, then turned out on the road with nothing.

I'm not incredibly wealthy. When you go through a divorce, that diminishes rapidly because you're supporting more than one household.

My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

As far as my divorce goes, I love my family and I love my wife to death and I just don't know what tomorrow's going to bring.

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!

Willie Nelson's the one who told me the reason it costs so much to get divorced is because it's worth it.

A wedding seems to be, unless you've been married more than once, so then it's a much more mellow affair - it's one of the biggest decisions you make in your life. Of course, half of marriages fall apart and most people end up being single again anyway.

For 50 percent of Americans marriage is forever, for the rest of us there is another adventure.

Man and wife were supposed to stay together because they'd made their vows in front of God and family.

To switch lads and lassies from quickie ceremonies back to the catered works in to-be-worm-only-once white dresses, the [wedding] garment producers have turned to sociology. Through statistics as carefully laid out as a bridal train, they are establishing a correlation showing a higher divorce rate for the informally gowned.... They may just have something there.... If a bride has sunk a bunk of savings into a dress she can't use again in a second wedding, she might think twice about having a second.

The divorce has lasted way longer than the marriage, but finally it's over.

Getting a divorce is nearly always as cheerful and useful an occupation as breaking valuable china.

In taking out an insurance policy one pays for it in dollars and cents, always at liberty to discontinue payments. If, however, womans premium is a husband, she pays for it with her name, her privacy, her self-respect, her very life, until death doth part.