You know why divorces are so expensive? They're worth it.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.
Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.
Money comes and goes. I may make a million dollars, then get a divorce and damn near lose all of it.
What a holler would ensue if people had to pay the minister as much to marry them as they have to pay a lawyer to get them a divorce.
As a 29-year-old, the only thing that I can possibly think is that if I'm still performing at 50, it's because I'll have had disastrous marriages and I have to pay for them.
Men tell me that I've saved their marriages. It costs them a fortune in shoes, but it's cheaper than a divorce. So I'm still useful, you see.
