Demetri Martin Quotes

I ordered a club sandwich, but I'm not even a member. "I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "Well, so do I!" "Then let's form a club." "OK, but we need some more stipulations. Instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again. Yes, four triangles, arranged in a circle, and in the middle we will dump chips." "How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?" "I'm for 'em!" "Well, this club is formed."

I think comedy, so much of it comes out of the strange sort of golden instant 'cause you don't know why it's funny, but you captured it.

It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense

I think absurdist humor is funny.

Comedies always need to be provocative and catch your attention in a way that dramas don't have to.

Humor is reason gone mad.

You can parody almost anything.

Humor is really one of the hardest things to define, very hard. And it's very ambiguous. You have it, or you don't. You can't attain it.

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

I like really stupid comedies.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

As you know it is a comedy so everything is a little bit pushed. That's what's funny about this kind of movie is you can laugh about the absurdity, and the bad side of life.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.

Just for fun, I'm really goofy and I would love to do some stupid comedy. I'm talking, like, crazy, out there, Will Ferrell type of thing. I love it; I think those movies are so funny.

We never really tried to shock for shock's sake on 'Family Guy'. If something was horribly offensive and shocking, we would put it in if it was also hysterically funny.

In terms of pure comedic value, 'Tootsie' is brilliant.

It's both funny and sad which seem to me to be the two basic ingredients of good comedy.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

More eccentric characters can push pretty far, but if you stay on the side of reality, it's always funnier.

'Bunk' is better than 'Wheel of Fortune' because we have a wheel, just like them, but our wheel is purposeless. It doesn't do anything. It just spins for no reason. Which is nice because it frees our wheel up to really pursue its dream: becoming a professional paddlewheel.

I sat down and wrote, 'Are your emotions pure? Are they the stuff of heroes or the alloyed mess of the beaten? How do you stand in relation to the potato?' And it was a lot of fun, and I kept going and woke up at some point in some horror that I had about 142 pages of this.

I think comedy is one of the hardest things to do.

I consider myself a bit of a comedian. I write a lot of humorous songs.