Shelley Winters Quotes

I am in the prime of my senility.

I've only been doing this fifty-four years. With a little experience, I might get better.

For most of my 20s, I looked like I was 12. Now that I'm pushing 40, I guess I look closer to... 15? It must be my macrobiotic diet. Oh, wait, except that I don't have one of those.

I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror.

He has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled.

Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing.

I'm just growing old, darling. I don't know about gracefully.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

All those people who go around saying Life begins at forty, they're notable by their absence. The nerve.

But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.

Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.

I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries.

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

How long is a girl a child? She is a child, and then one morning you wake up she's a woman, and a dozen different people of whom you recognize none.

A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes superannuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures.

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

How old are you?” “Seventeen,” he answered promptly. “And how long have you been seventeen?” His lips twitched as he stared at the road. “A while,” he admitted at last.

This weekend President Obama attended the annual Gridiron Club Dinner, and during his speech he joked that he is getting older and crankier. Which explains why he announced he no longer supports President Obama.

It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.

Leo got up and brushed himself off. "I hate that guy". He offered Jason his arm like they should go skipping together."I'm Dylan. I'm so cool, I want to date myself, but I can't figure out how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!" "Leo" Jason said "You're weird

It is not a sin to be seventy but it is also no joke.

The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it. It shouldn't be "Who do we hate?", he thought, it really should be "whom", but this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up.

I am in perfect health, and hear it said I look better than ever I did in my life, which is one of those lies one is always glad to hear.

The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.