David Sedaris Quotes

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic people who were stupid. But I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart.

Wit is educated insolence.

You can't deny the truth. And that's what makes smart comedy so good.

My only agenda is trying to make you laugh and say something smart.

JaVale McGee is one of the smartest guys I know. Like, he's a nerd, plays with gadgets, and is into technology. He's funny - he's got crazy jokes, and his timing with jokes is really funny. You have to be really smart to think the way he does.

If I'm smart then I'll run away, but I'm not so I guess I'll stay

Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

I don't mind people thinking I'm stupid, but I don't want to give them any proof.

Truth, when witty, is the wittiest of all things.

One can have a wit, but not a witless

I think, there are many people who are much smarter than I am, and many, many, many who are much harder-working than I am, but in terms of the range of my activities, they're unique.

It doesn't bother me when someone calls me a 'dumb blonde.' I'm neither dumb or blonde.

Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women.

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

I reckon I am a smart aleck, but it is just a way to pass the time.

When you talk yourself, you think how witty, how original, how acute you are; but when another does so, you are very apt to think only - What a crib from Rochefoucauld!

Pickup lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.

Wit is a thing capable of proof.

Barbara Ehrenreich is smart, provocative, funny, and sane in a world that needs more of all four.

Actually, most people don't think I have too much sense because I would rather be fairly intelligent and act dumb instead of not having any sense at all and try to act smart.

Wisdom is better than wit, and in the long run will certainly have the laugh on her side.

Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are.

Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education, and the most common among the uneducated.

I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.