Clever Remark Quotes

An epigram is a flashlight of a truth; a witticism, truth laughing at itself.

I can be just as effective with a quick retort or a one-liner than with a big paragraph.

I'd been painting rats for three years before someone said 'that's clever it's an anagram of art' and I had to pretend I'd known that all along.

You know, what Einstein has just said isn't so stupid.

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

Now I see some family resemblance. I was starting to wonder if Jill was adopted, but you two kind of look like each other." "So does our mailman back in North Dakota," said Adrian.

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.

Groucho Marx, in his later days, gave me the best review I've ever had and probably will ever have. I changed a light bulb over his bed, and when I came off of his bed with the used one after putting the new one in, Groucho said, 'That's the best acting I've ever seen you do.'

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person. My friend David Rakoff, who died a few years ago, he was a witty person. Fran Lebowitz is a witty person. I don't think there are that many witty people around, so you tend to notice them when they do come around. I don't consider myself to be that.

No, I have something else between my legs.

So...your name means Mr.Underwear." -Frank

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?

A fop sometimes gives important advice.

The aphorist is a hit and run artist.

I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.