James Thurber Quotes

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

I have known many an instance of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.

He frowned as he struggled to remember. It was like watching an elephant crochet.

The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes. John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb?

Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?

From now on when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I planned to say, Amnesiac.

By reading this message you are denying its existence and implying consent.

I can remember much forgetfulness.

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

There's one novel, Cujo, that I barely remember writing at all.

That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.

That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.

Its funny how you can let yourself forget for seconds, how even in the heat of the horrible, you can have moments when you fool yourself into thinking it might all be okay

Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your arm's off!" "No it isn't." "Then what's that?" "Oh come on, pansy!

I remember saying things, but I have no idea what was said. It was generally a friendly conversation.” —Associated Press reporter Jack Sullivan, attempting to recount a 3 A.M. exchange we had at a dinner party and inadvertently describing the past ten years of my life.

Somehow, in the process of trying to deny that things are always changing, we lose our sense of the sacredness of life. We tend to forget that we are part of the natural scheme of things.

People who remember court madness through pain, the pain of the perpetually recurring death of their innocence; people who forget court another kind of madness, the madness of the denial of pain and the hatred of innocence; and the world is mostly divided between madmen who remember and madmen forget.

We...we could be friends.' We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants, but we're not. At least, I'M not.

There are some dogs that are gigantic that look like they shouldn't be in existence.

It is not easy to fall into any absurdity, unless it be by the length of an account; wherein he may perhaps forget what went before. For all men by nature reason alike, and well, when they have good principles.

We choose to forget aspects of ourselves and then we forget that we've forgotten.

Yeah. Sure. My brother's dead. My mother's insame. Hey, let's have a crepe.

If this bloke's a Test match bowler, then my backside is a fire engine

You're always remembering songs you wanna sing except when you're actually at karaoke.

I think some dogs may like the attention of being dressed up by their humans because they interpret it as affection, but unless it's something that you've made the dog used to from the time it was a puppy, it's probably going to always feel a little weird and unnatural to the dog. This doesn't mean I think people should never dress their dogs up as long as they do it for the right reasons. If you're putting booties and a coat on your dog to protect it from the weather, then that's a pretty legitimate reason.