Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

If you look hard enough, you can find race issues and racism in everything. I know people who say, 'See, I don't play pool 'cuz that's where the white ball chase the black ball off the table. So I prefer bowling, where the big black ball knock down the white pins with the red necks.'

There were websites erected to figure out how to kill Alanis. I just do not need to see this; it's not good for anybody.

I get massive invective, massive abuse, via email, phone messages, and Twitter. From people way, way to the right of center - scary, abusive kind of stuff. Really freaks out my assistant and my wife. Hate-filled.

I am now one of those people for whom the trolling never ends.

The Internet, sadly, has become a preying ground for trolls and just predators. And when you're in the position that I'm in, and you have a wife and a child who had just come into this world not too long ago, you start wondering whether or not that continued interaction and some of the threats and some of the nonsense are worth it.

There are definitely racial problems in this country [the USA]. Comedy is a way we can figure out how to solve it, and how to solve it without making people really angry.

I've had a lot of people online say they're going to kill me at my shows. A lot of people say they're going to punch me in the face - never happened. It's just people being sad because their life sucks.

People are so sensitive about race that they can't hear someone speaking about their life in a very true way, or doing satire or political parody.

I receive more threats than I could count; it's almost every week.

No one actually cares about blackface.

I see lots of people online making fun of me cause at my shows there's a bunch of white people.

I get apologies from Gamergaters pretty regularly saying: 'I didn't think you were a real person.'

Having social media does open you up to trolling, and mine is always about my skin.

The abuse on Twitter has become so commonplace and accepted that people have literally made careers out of it.

I troll, I'm trolled.

I used to get a lot of death threats. After a while I realized that no one's gonna do anything or they would've.

Obama a ‘light-skinned’ African-American ‘with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.

White folks are the luckiest people: Finally a black president and he's a behaved one. Went to the best schools, best colleges, never raises his voice. I ran for president in 1968. I tell (audiences) if I won, I would have dug up the Rose Garden and planted watermelon!

There was a moment when I was getting death threats and bullshit via the Internet, so I was being a little more conscious and reading local message boards before going to certain towns, just to see if people were making bullshit idle threats on the Internet.

There's plenty of rude stuff online. People say things online that they would be ashamed to say face to face. If people could treat others as though they were speaking face to face, that would be huge.

Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.

Humor is so culturally based that when I try to tell a joke as me being a white American, if I tell other white Americans, they'll laugh. If I tell an African American, they might not laugh. In fact, they either might not find it funny, or they might find it offensive, and I didn't mean it to be offensive. So these are the sort of little things that build up over time, just like in a marriage. You know, the little things can build up over time.

I don't know what to say about Asians. I think everyone is "racist," to differing degrees, in that everyone's brain will automatically associate information with other information, based on the information they are looking at (for example skin color, bone structure), but I think focusing on race in any manner that isn't neutral or self-aware probably increases racism.

I remember classes in college where the professor was espousing certain theories about how blacks were inherently less intelligent. But I learned a long time ago to give people the benefit of the doubt, not to assume that somebody was reacting to you because of race.

I think everyone is "racist," to differing degrees, in that everyone's brain will automatically associate information with other information, based on the information they are looking at, but I think focusing on race in any manner that isn't neutral or self-aware probably increases racism.