Terry Pratchett Quotes

The greater absurdities are, the more strongly they evince the falsity of that supposition from whence they flow.

Obviously something is wrong with the entire argument of "obviousness".

It is in the nature of foolish reasonings to seem good to the foolish reasoner.

Logic might be unanswerable because it was so absolutely wrong.

It as true that normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well know fact. ... Besides, almost all dogs don't talk. Ones that do are merely a statistical error, and can therefore be ignored.

How it chanced that a man who reasoned on his premises so ably, should assume his premises so foolishly, is one of the great mysteries of human nature.

A good musical comedy consists largely of disorderly conduct occassionally interrupted by talk.

I call it... the hot dog tree, because... it's a hot dog tree.

Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like "tangentially Swedish" is not the best way to go.

If you believe that I'm a cop killer, you believe David Bowie is an astronaut.

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.

Insight makes argument ridiculous.

Logic is a feeble reed, friend.

Who did you pass on the road?" the King went on, holding out his hand to the Messenger for some more hay. "Nobody," said the Messenger. "Quite right," said the King; "this young lady saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than you." "I do my best," the Messenger said in a sullen tone. "I'm sure nobody walks much faster than I do!" "He can't do that," said the King, "or else he'd have been here first.

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

Talking nonsense is the sole privilege mankind possesses over the other organisms. It's by talking nonsense that one gets to the truth! I talk nonsense, therefore I'm human

Josh speculated about the hypothetical contents of an imaginary porn magazine for intelligent trees that would be entitled Enthouse.

Ordinarily, I go to the woods alone, with not a single friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable. I don't really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of praying, as you no doubt have yours. Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible.

Like a mirror, God appears to be more and more a reflection of whoever it is that happens to be talking about God at the moment.

There are literally several levels of SCO being wrong. And even if we were to live in that alternate universe where SCO would be right, they'd still be wrong.

A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"

How dangerous can false reasoning prove!

When I was quite young I came across a collection of [Franz] Kafka stories and read "The Judgment." I was just floored by that story. I couldn't understand it. I still don't. I'm talking about something I read more than 50 years ago. That story left a little scar on me.

By your logic I should also be in charge of Solinade dances, needlework, and horse thieving.