Dave Barry Quotes

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

If it's not some daring, dangerous affair, it's just not interesting, or so it seems. So, here you have two people - a famous American iconic couple - who actually like each other sexually, in marriage. Imagine.

Sure, yes, there are smoking-hot girls. But my girlfriend's smoking hot, my wife, whatever.

You need to marry someone that is your soul mate, that you're obsessed with, and never ignore that.

Well, it's true that you often kind of forget to see the person you're most intimate with, but occasionally I'll come to and sort of think, 'Oh my God! You're really, really good-looking! I'm embarrassed now! It's nice to occasionally have that flash.

Love talks and talks. Lust is brief and to the point.

I know love and lust don't always keep the same company.

I certainly don't believe in love at first sight. I definitely believe in a lot of chemistry and lust at first sight. I think that love is something that takes work.

In a relationship, it's so important that a man knows how much you physically desire him. When he wears that shirt that makes him look sexy, tell him he's sexy! If he wears a cologne you like, say "I can't resist that smell on you".

You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

Guinevere and Arthur's story is so about the passion. It's about the sexual attraction between them. You can't have that story and show that sexual attraction with them kissing, and then shut the door. It just doesn't work. It's such an important part of their relationship and what happens in Camelot later on. It's who they are and how they bond.

Girls marry for love. Boys marry because of a chronic irritation that causes them to gravitate in the direction of objects with certain curvilinear properties.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.

You very seldom see a picture where you watch the process of falling in love.

I've enjoyed the opposite sex a lot. Always have. Always will.

I don't know if I should care for a man who made life easy; I should want someone who made it interesting.

I believe in sex on a first date. Otherwise, how do you know if a second date is worth the effort?

I think sex is a very minor part of most romance novels.

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

I'm a little bit of a makeout king. I don't discriminate too much.

Being in love with somebody is a wonderful feeling.

… you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light. but hey, that would be going into sexual details...