Bjork Quotes

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

I think you can tell the human condition better through comedy.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I've always thought something that makes you laugh, it makes you laugh because there's a little bit of truth to it.

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

Some are blessed with musical ability, others with good looks. Myself, I was blessed with modesty.

Irony has seeped into the felt of any fedora hat I have ever owned - not out of any wish of mine, but out of necessity. A fedora hat worn by me without the necessary protective irony would eat through my head and kill me.

With Ricky Gervais, it's all shades of wrong, it's my kind of humor.

I kinda don't do guilt. I gave it up for Lent years ago.

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.

I thank you in advance for the great round of applause I'm about to get.

I'm a giraffe. I even walk like a giraffe with a long neck and legs. It's a pretty dumb animal, mind you.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.

The other day the President said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. He paused, then said, would you like a puppy?

At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious.

My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.

Dressing up, for me, is looking like an idiot.

I wasn't born a fool. It took work to get this way.

I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honesty, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot. Unless you're just listening to buzz words and not taking into account the context of the situation, you see I'm always the ignoramus.

Sometimes I've looked at a plate of food and wondered if it wouldn't look better as a hat.