Jonathan Stroud Quotes

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

I am a grateful... grapefruit.

I love the absurd - kind of absurdist comedy, absurd things in life.

Life is funny and weird.

I rather like the smell of absurdity in the morning.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

At first she dreamed of sheep, of going to school, of cats drinking milk. Little by little she dreamed of blue sheep, of going to school in the middle of the woods, of cats drinking milk from golden saucers. And her dreams became increasingly dense and acquired colours that were difficult to dilute into words.

I would just turn into a giant pair of lips. "Oh God! There he is! It's Lip-Man!"

Comedy exists to laugh at things that aren't laughable. But isn't it? That's what separates us from the animals. We laugh.

Who doesn’t want an exploding wicker chicken?

When you see these characters like Captain America or Thor, laughing at their own situation or about how strange they are, then you are able to accept more readily that it's fine to wear a cape. You can also accept that it's fine to be enormous and green, or to shoot arrows at aliens racing through the sky. It all makes sense if you've been able to laugh at it and with it.

I cannot understand why my arm is not a lilac tree.

To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.

Soon Hansel and Gretel came to a little cottage. When they got quite near, they saw that the little house was made of bread and roofed with cake. The windows were transparent sugar." "There must not have been a very strict building code.

The last living boy in America drops into my bedroom only he wants to be a monk. I think that pretty much sums up my life.

George unhinged his jaw and coughed up a little plastic bottle filled with chewable vitamins. "You're kidding," I said. "Are those Minotaur-shaped?" Hermes picked up the bottle and rattled it. "The lemon ones, yes. The grape ones are Furies, I think. Or are they hydras? At any rate, these are potent."

Absurdity is what I like most in life.

My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.

See the ridiculous in everything.

I'm so happy, I think I'll dress up like J. Edgar Hoover and sing show tunes.

The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.

I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.

Liz looks at the tissue box, which is decorated with drawings of snowmen engaged in various holiday activities. One of the snowmen is happily placing a smiling rack of gingerbread men in an oven. Baking gingerbread men, or any cooking for that matter, is probably close to suicide for a snowman, Liz thinks. Why would a snowman voluntarily engage in an activity that would in all likelihood melt him? Can snowmen even eat? Liz glares at the box.

I saw something even more beautiful than a sense of humor: an appreciation for life’s essential absurdity.

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.