Greg Gutfeld Quotes

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think.

People have said I can come off a little trial-lawyerish. I tell people I never actually became a lawyer, but I play one at City Hall.

When I did 'Bremner, Bird and Fortune' I think it was accepted that comedians can contest the arguments just as well as journalists.

In argument, truth always prevails finally; in politics, falsehood always.

Though we cannot out-vote them we will out-argue them.

Some of the best work done to combat the Republicans has been wit and humor.

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

Ross Perot. I could have had a ball with him.

Good argument is intended to persuade another.

Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Logic is neither a science nor an art, but a dodge.

Could you imagine me and the roasters taking on the GOP field? It would be the greatest show ever. Prove that you can take a joke. Prove that you're a man or woman of the people. Prove that you're not above criticism even in the form of a backhanded compliment.

You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we're fundits! We're not pundits!

I don't consider myself a political comedian because it's so hard. It takes time away from me saying terrible things about TV.

I can't argue my way out of a paper bag.

It was said that Mr. Gladstone could persuade most people of most things, and himself of anything.

Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert. Those are the guys I look at who are telling me pretty much the truth. And they throw humor into it which makes it much more interesting to listen to.

I'm a great admirer of 'The Simpsons.' It's very surprising because it's backed by a right-wing television company in the U.S., and quite often it's poking fun at the people who would be its audience.

When you make 'The Daily Show', it's usually not for a laurel, it's for a dart.

I love arguing. I always say that I'll never win a physical battle, but I can always win a mental battle. I mean, not really, because I never really argue with anyone.

Whenever anybody is pursuing power, he's got to be funny.

The object of oratory alone is not truth, but persuasion.