Terry Pratchett Quotes

My point here, young couples, is that baby-having is extremely serious business, and you probably don't have the vaguest idea what you're doing, as is evidenced by the fact that you're reading a very sloppy and poorly researched book.

Of children as of procreation -- the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable

I sadly want a reform in the construction of children. Nature's only idea seems to be to make them machines for the production of incessant noise.

Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.

People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources-all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.

I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

When people talk about wanting to have children someday, what they really mean is that they want babies. Nobody wants an angry adolescent. Nobody wants an obnoxious seven-year-old trying to wear out dirty words they just learned in school that day. What they really want is cute, adorable babies who love you and need you. The bad stuff is just the price you agree to pay for having the good stuff.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

In terms of parenthood, I think the pressure has amped up massively too. Some parents are setting the bar ludicrously high in terms of doing things "right," and seeing children more as products to be perfected than simply children.

Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit 'how-to-parent' strategies both seductive and dangerous.

The thing with children is they're a bit like baking a fruitcake: you throw all the ingredients in but you never know how they're going to turn out.

I have 'Parents' magazine in my home.

We all want to do the right thing for our children. We all don't know what that is and we all - you know, you won't know until the future.

Raising children is an uncertain thing; success is reached only after a life of battle and worry.

Give me a child for the first 7 years, and you may do what you like with him afterwards.

It's harder for me, never having brought up a child, to enter the universe of the child.

I think when you have children, it just changes your worldview.

There's some people that are 24 hours with the baby and it doesn't make a difference. They could be anywhere.

Folks that has brought up children know that there's no hard and fast method in the world that'll suit every child. But them as never have think it's all as plain and easy as Rule of Three—just set your three terms down so fashion, and the sum'll work out correct.

I know of no more sacred duty than to rear and educate a child.

Since civilizing children takes the better part of two decades--some twenty years of nonstop thinking, nurturing, teaching, coaxing, rewarding, forgiving, warning, punishing, sympathizing, apologizing, reminding, and repeating, not to mention deciding what to do when--I now understand that one wrong move is invariably followed by hundreds of opportunities to be wrong again.

I have a twenty-month-old baby, a sixteen-year-old boy - same maturity level.

Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

Children are f - king crazy. They're also suicidal.