Doug Stanhope Quotes

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

I drink no more than a sponge.

I'm like the drunk in the bar who wants just one more for the road.

Nothing brings more pain than too much pleasure; nothing more bondage than too much liberty.

I didn't even drink in college.

Two drinks a day. Two drinks a day. TWO DRINKS A DAY! It doesn't work! Not when you want eleven, and not when you start shopping for wine glasses in the vase department at Bloomingdales.

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.

The proximity of a desirable thing tempts one to overindulgence. On that path lies danger.

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

I never drank except a couple sips of wine at Thanksgiving.

A drunkard is one thing, and a temperate man is quite another.

Drink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame, when once it is within thee.

Moderation is never something I've been good at.

It's not the drinking to be blamed, but the excess.

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities.

I am bound to add that the excess in too little has ever proved in me more dangerous than the excess in too much; the last may cause indigestion, but the first causes death.

I can't do anything in moderation.

Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little.

One's too many, and a hundred's not enough.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

He who drinks too much beer must drink water

I'm a big sucker for chocolate, and I love beer, but I can't drink it because it goes straight to my face like the Michelin Man.

I wasn't really an alcoholic, but I was losing control. I still go for a beer, but I drink a lot less.