Henny Youngman Quotes

Christianity had two faces which bewildered me - two pictures which didn't fit.

A small communication breakdown is enough for everyone to be working on slightly different things. And then you loose focus.

Yup, believe it: I was born on March 28, yet my name is April.

Affery, like greater people, had always been right in her facts, and always wrong in the theories she deduced from them.

Contradictions make people feel off. They'll say, "Hey, you just said this and now this person is doing that, how is that possible?"

What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.

I don't know a lot about politics. I like talking about human behavior. Politicians are funny to me because they often say one thing and behave a different way.

I don't know what it is I'm doing. But it's not that. Despite all evidence to the contrary.

Trying to double talk, get myself in trouble talk.

"It's very good jam," said the Queen. "Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." "You couldn't have it if you did want it," the Queen said. "The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam to-day." "It must come sometimes to "jam to-day,""Alice objected. "No it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam every other day; to-day isn't any other day, you know." "I don't understand you," said Alice. "It's dreadfully confusing."

If falsehood, like truth, had but one face, we would be more on equal terms. For we would consider the contrary of what the liar said to be certain. But the opposite of truth has a hundred thousand faces and an infinite field.

The reason I don't like interviews is that I seem to react violently to personal questions. If the questions are about the work, I try to answer them. When they are about me, I may answer or I may not, but even if I do, if the same question is asked tomorrow, the answer may be different.

There are voices crying what must be done, a hundred, a thousand voices. But what do they help if one seeks for counsel, for one cries this, and one cries that, and another cries something that is neither this nor that.

I'm not dating Balthazar. I'm pretend dating him. Which involves some not pretend hand-holding. And maybe some not pretend kissing. But it's all actually pretend, see? I groaned. My explanations were making my head hurt already.

Your mind is made up but your mouth is undone.

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

There were mysterious questions, but a mysterious answer was a contradiction in terms.

Luce: But I thought you said I should stay away from the hard cases. Arriane: Rule number two — don't listen to me!

I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.

I scarcely know the meaning of your question; much less can I answer it.

About the only question that we would say and this is a big one in our lives that we would say you don't just use pure reason to decide the answer to is anything that affects your happiness, because then gut and reason answer very different questions. So gut tells you "How do I feel about this right now?"

For me, love is the never-ending question. It is confusing. It is the answer, but it is also inundated with contradictions and complications.

To her own heart it was a delightful affair, to her imagination it was even a ridiculous one, but to her reason, her judgment, it was completely a puzzle.

Forget the complaints against complexity; instead, complain about confusion.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.