Chelsea Handler Quotes

I think I have more stamps in my passport than most stamp collectors have in their collections.

I can go back to Egypt anytime I want. Can I leave Egypt anytime I want? I think I can. I think I can.

It's such a performance to bring stuff into America. It's a great luxury when I am in England.

I handed my passport to the immigration officer, and he looked at it and looked at me and said, 'What are you?'

For someone in an alternative job, an alternative lifestyle, it's very hard to explain what I do. So I sometimes try and dumb it down as much as possible, so I'm changing what I do every time! So sometimes I'm in an Uber, and they ask, 'So what do you do?' and I say, 'I'm a comedian,' or, 'I'm a graphic designer.'

I have a British and an American passport.

A man who writes for a living does not have to go anywhere in particular, and he could rarely afford to if he wanted.

The birds never needed passports... We always thought, the birds can go wherever they want, and we couldn't, really. The birds were very much the symbol of... free movement for me.

My youngest son's pre-school class was recently asked what their dads do for work. The responses were things like, my dad sells money, and my dad figures stuff out. My son said, 'I've never seen my dad do work.' It's true. Skateboarding doesn't seem like real work, but I'm proud of what I do.

Is it unreasonable to have proof of citizenship when entering another country?

Every time anybody in Washington talks about legal status, amnesty, anything of that nature, it becomes a magnet that lures people in quickly into the United States.

We will have a border that is open for business, open for tourism, open for legitimate travelers; but that is closed to terrorists and drug pushers and smugglers and others who seek to break the law.

I will no longer be referred to as Miss Steinem of Ms. magazine.

I think, basically, I am an actor. Sometimes I'm an actor who's writing and sometimes an actor who's directing, but I think if I'm forced to fill out a form for my tax return, 'actor' is the first thing I write down.

These days we seem more bound to our bosses than ever before. We even identify our own selves with the jobs we do: 'What do you do?' is the first question we ask each other at parties, as if a job title could express a fundamental truth about our personality.

I don't have a visa for the U.S., and I don't want to apply for one. And I don't want to fly for that long.

I didn't think being a writer was a fancy thing. It was a job like any other job, except apparently you could do it at home.

I know I don't want to be Stieg Larsson my whole life.

I am a passport-carrying citizen of the E.U.

My goal is to ensure the Northern Border is safe, secure and allows for the free flow of travel and commerce.

I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.

For the most part, the suppression of any kind of vice is regarded as a domestic problem, to be handled by one state without interference from its neighbors. But even leaving aside all moral considerations, it is true that so integrated has the world become that now-a-days one nation soon finds it impossible to prohibit the entrance of undesirable articles or persons into its own country without the cooperation of other countries. We have seen this in the case of liquor, drugs and immigrants. For these reasons the drug problem has become international.

With all my outside activities, I have to remind people I am really in advertising.

I'm an actor more than anything else.

I go to Canada at least every two years.