Red Buttons Quotes

My father taught me how to fight when I was 5.

Tired of nagging your kids to hurry up, get dressed, drink their milk and brush their teeth? Here's a radical idea: Don't.

There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiing and will tell you, unsolicited, how to raise your kid!

Cap Boso? How could I cut a guy with a name like that?

I read some article where Reese Witherspoon said, "If you're not yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them." It made me feel so much better.

I don't know if there's anything intrinsically funny about Tae Kwon Do.

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well.

If you strike a child, take care that you strike it in anger, even at the risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should be forgiven.

I don't know karate, but I know ka-razy!

This is Annabeth,” Jason said. “Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people.

In fairness, you know, I'm a big believer in if your kid makes noise in the restaurant you should remove the child immediately.

Let the child's first lesson be obedience, and the second will be what thou wilt.

You could have a kid that is going to get in trouble a little bit, and you can teach them as much as you can, and hopefully they'll go the right way.

Just stick with your kids. There's no set of rules on how to be a parent. No handbook. Just hang around your kids and ask them a lot of questions. You have to stay involved in your children's lives and monitor everything they're doing whether they like it or not. You're not in the job of making them like it. You're there to protect them in a world that can be troubling.

Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the head with a big rubber basketball shoe.

I was very strict on that point. No devouring classmates." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Other parents warn their kids not to talk to strangers. I had to warn mine not to eat them.

If we never have headaches through rebuking our children, we shall have plenty of heartaches when they grow up.

The way I survived growing up in Jersey City was by being funny. It wasn't by being tough. Nobody thought of me as a tough kid, except for the kids I beat up.

I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.

Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.

My mom always used to say, "You'll be a better kid if you just listen."

Always remember your kid's name.

When a child hits a child, we call it aggression. When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility. When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault. When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline.

Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!

Be ever gentle with the children God has given you; watch over them constantly; reprove them earnestly, but not in anger. In the forcible language of Scripture, "Be not bitter against them." "Yes, they are good boys," I once heard a kind father say. "I talk to them very much, but do not like to beat my, children--the world will beat them." It was a beautiful thought not elegantly expressed.