Maggie Stiefvater Quotes

I'm not the voice of reason; I'm more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

Great humorists are great insulters.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

Comedy always pushes some buttons, because it wouldn't be comedy if it didn't.

Insult is powerful. Insult begets both rage and humor and often at the same time.

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.

Impropriety is the soul of wit.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

It is crucial to have an injury seen to quickly.

I like to make fun of serious matters.

You can't just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible.

Sandy: Boy, you must really think I'm stupid or something. Jeff: Ahh, no one would call you stupid, to your face.

Are you stupid or did you just take lessons?

I've always admired your ability to be unilaterally irritating.

come and get it, you dumbass

I hit Ali with everything and he said 'is that all you got' and I said 'yeah, that's pretty much it.'

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

If there's anyone still present whom I've failed to insult . . . I apologize.

You gonna put on your big-girl panties and fight with the boys, now?” He looked over his shoulder as if he expected me to blush or something. “Who says I wear panties?” I was certain that he flushed red this time. Laughing, I left him shaking his head and went on inside to find the Kid. We had work to do.

I point out truths when I see them, Brightlord Sadeas. Each man has his place. Mine is to make insults. Yours is to be in-sluts.

Hey, T-Rex? Remind me next time I want to get smartass with you that it’s a really stupid move on my part? (Talon) Oh, no, you don’t, you wuss. You told me the next time you saw Ash you were going to ask him if he’d seen the movie 10,000 BC and if it’d made him homesick. (Wulf)