Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

newborns reminded her of tiny buddhas

They tell you that at his age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. And what I've learned is they can actually do all three at the same time. Who knew?

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

I think babies are a bit boring, actually. They're OK when they're older; they make you laugh. I think we all think that, really - we just don't say it.

Babies make you do things for them. They get you up and they get you moving.

Does any new parent, even if you're not a first-time parent, ever really know what to do?

In seven books, I've written my fair share of baby epilogues. Pregnancies and births and even grandchildren have made an appearance in the final pages of my books.

They are having babies and the babies are becoming citizens and we have to take care of them.

I think everybody is born pure. You never go to the maternity ward and hold a baby that has bad energy.

I'll have everyone from 90-year-old ladies wanting to come up and kiss me on the cheek and say they love the show to dads bringing their newborns over wearing onesies.

My children are terrific babies.

Animals are great but babies are the most magical thing ever.

The babies are amazing ... They begin each day all warm and sleepy, smelling of promise.

Babies were dangerous . . . they made you fall in love before you knew what was happening.

I hate babies. They're so human.

Babies just change everything. You have to become super-selfless and super-tired and super-amenable to change. They just change all the time.

Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.

When I was pregnant, I couldn't wear fragrance. I couldn't smell anything. I couldn't smell flowers, I was very sensitive to everything. I could smell orange juice from across the room and I remember thinking, 'I will throw up.'

The happiest days are when babies come.

I happen to think that there are already tons of perfectly good babies out there already born.

Holding these babies in my arms makes me realize the miracle my husband and I began.

Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.

Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?

The only time he cries is if he’s hungry. We all have nipples. I don’t care who I offend; my baby wants to eat. If I can’t get a cover over me quick enough, so be it.

Once, when she was six years old, she had fallen from a tree, flat on her stomach. She could still recall that sickening interval before breath came back into her body. Now, as she looked at him, she felt the same way she had felt then, breathless, stunned, nauseated.