Mike Birbiglia Quotes

He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.

Sexual behavior was also generally considered off limits.

I did learn that some of the things that are great for locker rooms are inappropriate for political discourse. That's a wisdom I've garnered.

I think the institution of marriage is a great idea, but for me it's just an idea.

You don't buy evil characters lattes. That's not normal behavior.

What Clinton did with Lewinsky was despicable but was no threat to the nation. That he lied about it repeatedly and to the public is a reason for us to cease to trust him and for him to resign.

There are people who say, 'Oh, he's a crook.' But I'm not a crook.

In this administration, a place can be found for every bad man.

It isn’t easy, but I guess I can understand why the good citizens of the hill country might let themselves be represented in Washington by a man who drinks too much. It isn’t easy, but I guess I can even understand why the good citizens of the hill country might even let themselves be represented by a man in Washington who carouses with city women while his wife and children are back here working the land. But, as God is my witness, I will never understand why the good people of the hill country would let themselves be represented by a man who takes female sheep up into the hills alone at night!

Was any government through its chief magistrate ever more vilely prostituted?

I did not wish to bribe myself.

Donald Rumsfeld is the rottenest person I have known in government

I had to cheat, steal, beg, borrow and lie….

Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.

There are always people that are misbehaving.

Nobody can negate the fact that there is a section - not only in media but in every field - which indulge in wrong things.

I don't want to take off my shirt and roam topless all the time, just for the heck of it.

I was brought up in the East End, and if a man was inappropriate in a bar, you'd throw your drink over him.

No matter how small the dishonest deed is, at the end of the day, cheating is cheating.

There's nothing creepier to me than a student who hangs out with the teachers.

I made advances towards multiple women in work-related situations, where it was clearly inappropriate. I put people in compromising and inappropriate situations, and I selfishly took advantage of those situations where I should have known better. My behavior was inexcusable and wrong.

I don't ever cross the line. I step right up to it. I put my toes on the line, but I don't ever cross that line. There are some barriers you just don't cross - you don't talk about religion; you don't talk about race. Those are lines I will never cross.

Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy’s lap was already creepy enough. We didn’t need to mix alcohol into it.

There is often times when I'm in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which - don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining, but it's just interesting. It's just interesting that that occurs.

My behavior is nonetheless, deplorable. Unfortunately, I'm quite prone to such bouts of deplorability--take for instance, my fondness for reading books at the dinner table.