Dave Barry Quotes

Remember, the Congress doesn't get as many opportunities to make an impression with the public.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

It is easy to talk about tax simplification, and we all know it is very difficult to accomplish; but for the last three Congresses, I have offered a tax simplification bill that would include a paid-for repeal of alternative minimum tax.

The Tax Code today is more complicated than ever, and the very people on the Republican side who denounce the Tax Code's complexity are the ones that put together what they now call a convoluted monstrosity. They put it into effect.

If I could only be President and Congress too, for just 10 minutes.

Senate: A body of elderly gentlemen charge with high duties and misdemeanors.

One of my goals, is to make the House co-equal with the White House.

As chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee - the chief tax-writing body in Congress - I understand that true comprehensive tax reform is tremendously difficult.

The Congress plays a central role in our constitutional structure.

Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.

Rather than rewriting the law under the pretense of interpreting it, the Court should have left it to Congress to decide what to do about the Act's limitation of tax credits to state Exchanges.

All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.

I always said that in a country where a legislature, its sessions limited by statute, could alter reality by turning back the clock (I actually saw this done, once, with a long pole pushing on the hour hand), any travesty was possible. I see nothing lately to prove me wrong.

[The Internal Revenue Code is] about 10 times the size of the Bible and, unlike the Bible, contains no good news

I think [Donald Trump] s got the votes for [tax reform]. I think he's definitely has the Republican votes for it, in House and Senate, and I think he probably has maybe 20 percent of the Democratic vote for it. So he could get it done with a bipartisan majority.

The tax code is 10 times the size of the Bible with none of the good news.

The House of Commons is called the Lower House, in twenty Acts of Parliament; but what are twenty Acts of Parliament amongst Friends?

[T]he tax code has been piling up, year after year, a symbol of everything gone wrong in America, of arrogant rulers and lost freedom, just waiting for us to pick the whole thing up and heave it away. It has to happen. Free people can put up with such laws only for so long.

This country is never going to move forward unless we end Republican rule in the House and Senate.

The Republican Party had a big day in yesterday's midterm elections and now controls the House and Senate. And don't ask me how this happened, but the Republican Party also gained control of three seats in our show's band.

I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.

I cut the taxes on everybody. I didn't cut them. The Congress cut them. I asked them to cut them.

Jesus was the only One that ever raised the dead," The Misfit continued, "and He shouldn't have done it. He shown everything off balance. If He did what He said, then it's nothing for you to do but throw away everything and follow Him, and if He didn't, then it's nothing for you to do but enjoy the few minutes you got left the best way you can by killing somebody or burning down his house or doing some other meanness to him. No pleasure but meanness," he said and his voice had become almost a snarl.

We are making fun of stuff. It is subversive, I think, and in many ways political. It's a reaction against the society we live in, very much so. When we make a commercial for a product that doesn't do anything.