Sarah Addison Allen Quotes

He had not yet learned that the only safe male rebuke to a scornful female is to stay away from her - especially if that is what she desires.

People who don't have experience setting healthy boundaries, they have secrets instead.

You can say no to people who make you feel bad about yourself. To people who backstab you or make you feel anxious in any way.

It's kind of cliche, but communication is the biggest thing in a relationship. You have to talk; you have to express yourselves. You don't want to look back and resent not being heard.

If there are people who treat me wrong, I either talk to them about it, or I don't talk to them anymore. It's been the most thoughtful and considerate thing I could do for myself and other people. I am going to try to do that forever.

Five minutes of communication can save a year's worth of turmoil and misunderstanding.

No" is a complete sentence.

If somebody says what they want or what they need it gives the person the chance to say yes or no, instead of suffering in silence or depravation or whatever it is.

Whatever the hell happens, say, 'This is what I need.'

A criticism is just a really bad way of making a request...so just make the request.

You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours.

If you don't ask for what you need, the need will keep getting bigger.

Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours.

I teach people how to treat me by what I will allow.

Know how to ask. There is nothing more difficult for some people, nor for others, easier.

I issued a number of denials to people I thought needed to hear them

If someone tells me that I've hurt their feelings I'm still waiting to hear what your point is.

Speak up, speak often and don’t worry about those that at this point cannot understand as they can never un-hear what we tell them.

I respect my boundaries, and I insist that others respect them, too.

You can't say you want things to be simple and then in the next breath ask me to be honest.

You've got to say what you mean and mean what you say...Doubt in your voice is an open door people will shove right through.

come back so i can say yes this time do it again now that i know what to call what you did this time i'll be ready i like it rough now and i'm done with romance i never met another man who loved me so much at first sight he had to hurt me to do it

Nobody ever cares what I say! I feel badly about it, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Your partner cannot read your mind, so talk to your partner about how you're feeling and what you need.

Although we do come from a silent profession, it is important for us to verbalize what we want to say. (As I tell my students): you could love someone all your life, but if you never say it how are they going to know? There comes a point when you have to say what you mean, which makes you scream louder when you dance.