Will Rogers Quotes

I don't do politics. I just like to laugh.

I'm not serving in office because I desperately needed 99 new friends in the U.S. Senate.

Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

I think comedy and satire are a very important part of democracy, and it's important we are able to laugh at the idiosyncrasies or the follies or vanities of people in power.

This is a pity, for I had many other things of great interest to say. But, as my time has expired, and not wishing to further interrupt the proceedings, I would at least like to have permission to print some remarks in the [Congressional] Record and insert "laughter and applause" in appropriate places. Now I will retire to the cloak-room to receive congratulations.

God's greatest gift: the conference committee.

You go wherever the laugh is. I think in that respect Republicans have been a little better for us.

We all joke about Bush. You go to a meeting and just say “Bush” and everyone will laugh.

The Republicans got everything but the Democratic donkey.

If you wanted to hear politics, you'd go to Henry Kissinger; you wouldn't go to hear Jackie Mason. The reason I speak about politics is because I know I can get a laugh out of it.

We should all laugh more at our elected officials - it's good for us and good for them.

The job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but a lot of my interests are in politics so I'm going to use that.

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

Conservatives were brought up to hate deficits and justifiably so. We've long thought there are two things in Washington that are unbalanced - the budget and the liberals.

All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

The worst thing you can do to a dictator is laugh at him.

MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.

You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it.

I do like to make films with a political theme, but sometimes it's nice simply to make people laugh. That's the hardest thing to do in fact.

Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to elect a dumb guy from Texas. But in time.

I am pleased to see from the laughter on the Ministerial benches that there is no implication on their part to take Sir Oswald Mosley too seriously. It can easily be seen to-day that this idea of a dictator is gradually falling down.

Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.

Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick Perry heard that, he said, 'Well that's nothing. I like to execute people.'

It’s been a very old thing for people to gather together and laugh at stuff. The first comedian in America really was Abraham Lincoln. He used to go to a pub near where he lived and stand in front of the fire and he packed the place every night and he would just talk and bust everybody in their guts. He was just a hilarious speaker and that’s what he did.