Henry Beard Quotes

I play a lot of charity golf mainly. I'm a bandit 18 if I play two or three times a week.

Watch out for guys like Scott Piercy and Danny Willett. They both play really good on fast, fast greens.

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.

I don't watch much golf.

Even if you've never picked up a club, or if you've been playing for a long time, there's always something new to learn from playing golf. That's the beauty of the game. You never stop learning.

I mean, I've done college basketball, a horse race, a bunch of different things and they'd blow by but golf has a frenetic pace of bouncing around from shot to shot and green to green and, in essence, acre to acre over this huge plot of land with over 150 players who are their own team.

I think there's too many rules in golf. And I mean that's easy to say for a player, but putting together a rule book is a tough thing in this game because there are so many different parts of the game.

I'm obsessed with golf, so I love going to play golf.

When it comes to the golf industry, I know that people see me as a gimmick.

I was a pretty average golfer.

I play golf but very badly.

Putting isn't golf, greens should be treated almost the same as water hazards: you land on them, then add two strokes to your score.

The only times you touch the ball with your hand are when you tee it up and when you pick it out of the cup. The hell with television towers and cables and burrowing animals and the thousand and one things that are referred to as 'not part of the golf course'. If you hit the ball off the fairway, you play it from there.

Ninety percent of putts that are short, don't go in.

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.

Here Eddie, hold the flag while I putt out.

Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot 66, they say, "Man, we shot 66!" But go out and shoot 77, and they say "Hell, he shot 77!"

Putting is a very personal affair.

If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head.

I've always tried to play golf with a golf club. I have a hard time driving with my rifle. I mean, 18 is really narrow ... I have no problem with the course, except for the tee shot on 18.

Golf requires only a few simple Rules and Regulations to guide the players in the true nature of its sporting appeal. The spirit of the game is its own referee.

Fairway: a narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

I've not given up hope the belly-putter will be banned. The R and A and the USGA are looking at it right now.