Unfortunate Event Quotes

It is worse than a crime. It is a blunder. C'est plus qu'un crime. C'est une faute.

I've had two unlucky injuries that are the equivalent of walking under 1,000 ladders and seeing 1,000 black cats.

Poor Grendel's had an accident. So may you all.

I'm not a big fan of losing.

People die from typewriters falling on their heads.

The sorriest thing I had ever seen was a sheered sheep after he had been in the rain.

What is the distinction between "misfortune" and "calamity"? If Mr. Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune; but if someone pulled him out, it would be a calamity.

Last Wednesday, I stupidly dropped my iPhone in the bath, and my life has sort of spiraled almost out of control.

When it rains, it pours - figuratively and literally.

When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.

I remember, my very first day at a new school, a bird pooped all down my back. It was like any other day of school except everyone was like, 'Oh my God, you're from the movie 'Big Daddy,'' and I had bird poop all over me.

Sometimes bad luck hits you like in an ancient Greek tragedy, and it's not your own making. When you have a plane crash, it's not your fault.

I am now faced with mortality. Definitely not the most generous move.

America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.

We've got a rattlesnake by the tail, and the sooner we pound its damn head in the better.

I think this is going to be a black day in the history of mankind.

The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.

When I was younger, my family suddenly and unexpectedly lost all of our life savings to a man we had trusted as a friend. The financial loss was difficult, especially because my sister and I were both in college. But the breach of trust was even more painful.

If you play a bad game, you can't say it was because you were injured.

A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."

Every unfortunate event does not give rise to lawsuit.

There is no sense in crying over spilt milk. Why bewail what is done and cannot be recalled?

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

Every day a piano doesn't fall on my head is good luck.

The bad end unhappily, the good unluckily. That is what tragedy means.