Toddler Quotes

Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

Spend enough time wrangling a toddler, and you get good at being kind but firm. Like your child, you must be doggedly single-minded when it matters.

Dewey has thrown his diaper into the ring.

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

Absolutely. It's something I'd eventually love. In the meantime, I just borrow all my friends' kids. It's seriously the best birth control in the world. I'm so tired afterward, I'm like, Okay, maybe in another two years.

Baby, shut up and let me drink the wine from your fur tea cup.

Toddlers can make you feel as if you have violated some archaic law in their personal Koran and you should die, infidel.

We have a beautiful little boy who is 18 months old and another little boy to be born in October. We are very excited about that.

Whenever a toddler sees a pile of blocks, he wants to tear it down.

Baby girl, Cross is a tsunami.

I learned that buying expensive furniture with toddlers around is pointless.

The sun was a toddler insistently refusing to go to bed: It was past eight thirty and still light.

There are times when I still feel like an actual toddler in a grown-up - well, semi-grown-up - body. But other times I can't wait to actually be 30, just so I can say things like, "I'm 30. I don't have time for that. F - k off!"

What are you listening to?" "I picked up a DVD for Luke while I was out. Something with Mozart and sock puppets." A grin rose to my lips. "At this stage I don't think Luke can see more than ten inches beyond his face." "That explains his lack of interest. I thought maybe he preferred Beethoven.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

I'd love to have a child. Either one or 40. I love kids.

Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.

Baby," groaned the guy-Ted? Tad?-something like that-and crushed his lips against the side of her neck, shoving her face against the wall of the toilet stall.

I have videos of me playing basketball in diapers.

BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.

My daughter loves to be surprised. And she loves to surprise me. She loves to create games where either one or both of us are surprised, or go away, and then come back. And she loves to play them over and over, and over again. The combo is familiar. Go away. Come back. Surprise! She is only two. I better get used to this.

My 2-year-old has become my alarm, so on a good day, 7:30 A. M. or 8 A. M. My alarm sounds something like, 'Mama, where are you?'

I'd love kids. I'm obsessed with babies. Of course I've thought about baby names. A million times. I like Alfie for a little boy.

Sometimes you leave the house for school, and you realize you're wearing the same thing as your toddler, which is embarrassing! I try to avoid it at all costs.

I have a four-month-old and I also have a toddler, so that takes up all of my time.