Tax Refund Quotes

A common man, even like myself, I don't know how to pay my taxes.

For every day the government is shut down, it should be that we don't have to pay income tax that day because they're not working.

I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.

There's just one thing I can't figure out. My income tax!

It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.

I played so bad, I got a get-well card from the IRS.

Anyone who thinks you can pay $3,100 to the federal government and thinks you can get that money back completely in services - like I said - he may go to M-I-T but he is an N-U-T.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

In 2009, my tax returns showed over $4 million.

Tax Day is often a source of frustration for taxpayers, so anything that can make the process less painful is appreciated.

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist—the taxidermist leaves the hide.

The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.

The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference.

The media's apoplectic reaction to 2018 tax refunds displays a fundamental misunderstanding of the U.S. tax code and the very notion of what a refund actually is.

While tax refunds amount to substantial income for many Americans, current IRS rules do not allow taxpayers to directly deposit their refund into more than one account.

There is a way for the IRS to be able to have a double check to make sure individuals don't file on your Social Security number early and try to get a tax return and make it chaotic for you to file your own taxes. That's not been done.

I got IRS records to finance what I wanted to do.

We all have to pay our bills. We all have to pay our taxes. Straight up.

A tax is something people pay out of income.

I had no clue about taxes at all. I didn't know they hit your paycheck. There's something that you've always got to put money away for. I didn't know you've got to put money away for it, even though it's coming out your own money. It's like, 'What the heck?'

Its no secret that I've never liked tax credits.

If I have to do my tax online, the government should pay for my Internet hook-up, darling.