tax forms Quotes

The income tax has spawned an intrusive bureaucracy, creating so much complexity and red tape that millions of ordinary citizens have to go get some accountant to fill out the forms for them - and then sign under penalty of perjury that it was done right. If you knew how to do it right, you wouldn't have to go to somebody else to have it done, would you?

I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics.

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.

Most people don't realize the amount of tax forms the small business guy has to go through.

It's April 15, tax day. The federal tax code is over 74,000 pages long. But stick with it because after page 72,000, it gets really good.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns.

More than half of all people filing income tax forms use someone else to prepare the forms for them. Then they have to sign under penalty of perjury that these forms are correct. But if they were competent to determine that, why would they have to pay someone else to do their taxes for them in the first place?

The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.

I do not do my own taxes. It's too many forms. "Here are my 70,000 forms. I have no idea."I would be in jail.

So many theories. But all of them have one thing in common: They demonstrate that although Trump isn’t much of a businessman, he is rich enough to hire good tax attorneys who will hand over huge stacks of forms for him to sign blindly. That’s a helluva qualification for president, isn’t it?

I've never looked at a tax return without immediately losing consciousness.

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

Americans spend 3 billion hours per year filling out tax forms and keeping tax records.

Every American, I think, should be able to fill out their taxes on a postcard.